can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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