So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize