After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
