bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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