it was like his penis was on wheels.
nutella sex= disaster
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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