If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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