I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
