I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Randomize
