yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
