she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize