He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
