Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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