she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Fuck appropriateness.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
