He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
