I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
