i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Success! We fucked roommates!
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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