"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
