Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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