I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Just high enough for therapy.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
