I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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