I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
