You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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