dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
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