all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
