I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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