apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
