just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Randomize
