Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
