Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
