I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
