we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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