dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
