some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
