Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
