I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Randomize
