We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
