At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Is this like a preordered booty call?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
