the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Randomize
