I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize
