SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
