The maid of honor just puked.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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