What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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