He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize