every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
