I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
