Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Just pee around me
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
