we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
