I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
