Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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