No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
