how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize
