I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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