community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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