She went from zero to smokin in five shots
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
