i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
