well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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