Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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