I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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