How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize
