Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
