I want to stick my p in your. b.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
