Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
