thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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