I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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