Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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