matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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