you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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