Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
