You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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