goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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