The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
