you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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