I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
