I need help removing her.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
