You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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