Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
