I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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