i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
then he tried to convert me to islam
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
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